The Black Dog is a malevolent spirit with eyes that glow red in the darkness of night, a storm crawling over the mountains, consuming all and smothering me with darkness, alone in the dark, life is silent, empty and motionless.
Depression signs and symptoms can differ in men and women. Men also tend to use different coping skills (both healthy and unhealthy) than women. It isn't clear why men and women may experience depression differently. It likely involves a number of factors, including brain chemicals, hormones and life experiences.
Like women, men with depression may feel blue or may not get pleasure from activities they once enjoyed. But a few other things commonly show up in men that may not be recognized as depression signs and symptoms:
Escapist behavior, such as spending a lot of time at work or on sports
Alcohol or substance abuse
Controlling, violent or abusive behavior
Inappropriate anger
Risky behavior, such as reckless driving
Infidelity or unhealthy sexual relationships
The Black Dog and i
Although the Black Dog and i had been acquainted for many years, i didn’t understand why he spent so much time hanging around. It’s been 12 years since I found out I have depression, during this time I have learnt what works for me in dealing it. Although I am a long way from where I have been, I still have to remain vigilant about the Black Dog as he likes to pay me a visit every once and a while.
One of the most frustrating things about depression, especially if you are a self-aware type, is knowing that you are acting irrationally, but not having the will or the strength to change it. One of the simplest tools I’ve learnt is acceptance; if the Black Dog chooses to make an appearance I no longer run and hide. I accept the Black Dog is there, I slow life down, I try to unload some responsibilities and try to remember that it will pass because it always does. Acceptance is the one thing that deprives the Black Dog of his power, this is perhaps the biggest single tool in my box, the one thing I have learnt that has made the most significant difference.
Chasing away the Black Dog
It’s also important to be pro-active when dealing with the Black Dog in taking appropriate steps to lessen the impact like, doing plenty of exercise, perhaps run over a few mountains with some friends or bounce down some rocky trails on a mountain bike until your teeth feel like they are coming loose. I run harder and further when the Black Dog is about, he’s not as fit as I and can’t handle the pace.
Eating correctly, especially if you intend to do some of the above, bonking half way through a big run is no way to keep the Black Dog in his kennel, the last thing you want is him wondering around and cocking his leg on you because you had a curry instead of pasta the night before a big run. If you’re going to take the Black Dog with you remember his lead.
Getting plenty of rest is also important when the Black Dog makes an appearance; spend less time at work and more at home with your partner. The internet is a fantastic source of entertainment but don’t sit up all night chatting or playing games, being tired when you have to work is not going to help keep up your energy reserves.
Friends of the Black Dog
Be kind to yourself and avoid the things that are likely to trigger a negative response, we learn what the triggers are, what the Black Dog like to hear – music, some tracks i just can’t listen to, images or photo’s from the past, some people are only happy when hurting others, don’t let them into your head because it only serves to make the Black Dog hungry, if you feed him with all that rubbish he will soon want a crap and then you will have to let him out.
There’s no simple answer, everyone’s path in dealing with a Black Dog is different, there are many support mechanisms out there, it’s important to choose the ones that works for you. Find a solid support base, from family, close friends, your doctor and even a support group. Educate yourself because knowledge is power.
Like all bad dogs a Black Dog needs discipline, patience understanding or even Cezar Milan, what ever it takes, never, ever give up.
