Running with depression: The Dark side

Its days like this when i could give it all up, running cycling, yoga, work, even life seems so hard at the moment. I'm in a big hole that i don’t remember falling into.

We've all been here I’m sure, the whole world is against me and everyone wants a piece, i can’t do right for doing wrong.

So why am i in this hole now?

Life i suppose, it presents it challenges to us and how we face them determines the outcome, not of the challenge but the affect it has on our lives. Allowing the life issues we face to have a negative effect on us is really down to us.

What i call leg 3 of the Paddy Buckley Round starts at Capel Curig, the first climb is Carnedd Moel Siabod, it then traverses the Boundary Ridge, through Cwmorthin quarry and on to Moelwyn Mawr before heading back and west to the final climb of Cnicht and finishing in Aberglaslyn. This takes about 7 hours to complete at a gentle pace.

2 hours in and the patella ligament in my right knee starts to niggle (again), i can feel some discomfort where it joins the top of my shin. What am i to do, even if i take a short cut I’m at least 2 hours from the car? I have no choice but to push on gently to the quarry and take the short cut back from there. It’s been 5 months since i injured my knee and I’ve just about had enough of it, I’m beginning to think it will never heal.

Over the next hour or so the clag covering the hills slowly vanished and with it the pain in my knee. By the time i arrived at the Quarry, some 2 hours later, i have completely forgotten about the knee pain and was instead, enjoying the magnificent views and constant sinking into peat bogs. You haven’t lived until you have experienced the Boundry Ridge peat bogs. :-)

Some of my friends are facing their own challenges, some can’t run because they are injured, others can’t run because of illness and some are just too damn busy trying to survive.

It’s easy to let these things take over your life and i am often guilty of this, reading a friend’s blog tonight has made me aware of all the good things going on in my life. Getting through illness and injury can be tough but not as tough as some of the challenges we set our selves when we are running.

Despite all the issues we create for our selves, i am a very lucky man, sure i have things in my life which could be better but i still have my general health. I also have 2 lovely daughters and the love and support of my partner Debbie.

What more can a man ask for?

Get well soon guys.