Meet John

John and I first met many years ago.

At the time I was struggling through life and not really making the best of it, many things had gone wrong and I was on a downward spiral.

There were many nights when my family had gone to bed and I was sat on the settee smoking a joint, usually from one of my plants that i kept at the time. I would get the urge for some freedom and take my motorbike out for a ride. I had no personal money as I used to put it all into the household, which is what you do when you are a family man. So it was common for the ride to start with a trip to the petrol station, fill up with fuel and with number plate in my jacket, ride off without paying. Nail it for a few miles and decide where I would play tonight.

Obviously I had a conscience about the fuel situation but what choice did I have? No money and an absolute desire, no an absolute need to ride my bike. I was compelled by my situation, I had to have an escape and this was it.

 Sometimes I would ride routes that were familiar to me and other times, if I felt the need for more risk, I would choose new and unknown routes and see where they lead to. Much like life’s choices I suppose but less likely to take you somewhere you can’t get back from.

Throttle to the stop, laying across the petrol tank down behind the fairing, a long straight road through a tunnel of tree’s, the fast approaching bend is upon you and you are sat up braking hard, looking for the apex before tipping it in and feeding the power on as hard as you dare. Quite country roads at night with fast sweeping bends were always my favourite because I felt they presented the most risk, crashing a bike a night in a secluded location was certainly a recipe for disaster but the greater risk brings greater rewards.

When you are younger with your whole life ahead of you, you feel invincible, like nothing can touch you. Obviously there is a high created by the adrenaline rush but it’s much more than that, it gave meaning to life and when that meaning is gone the reality of life returns.

This was when I first met John, although I have to be honest and say, I think he was around long before then, I was just not aware of his presence. Advice from a friend if often the best kind of advice and when that friend is willing to help you through the hard times, no matter how hard they become, you know they are someone you can trust and rely on.

During my divorce and subsequent time in a psychiatric unit, John was always there by my side and after recovering from my break down we moved to Scotland for a while to keep us clear of the troubles at home. Looking back it was probably just running away from our troubles but at the time it felt like the right thing to do.

It was around this time that John seemed to take command of our lives and guide us through the difficult times. Certainly life in Scotland was a little manic and at the time, almost like living life through a window, or perhaps just a little disconnected from what was going on around me.

John was certainly having the time of his life and drinking way to much alcohol, messing around with women and generally having a good time. Looking back I don’t have any vivid memories of that time but coming home to Lancashire was one of my better ideas. John wanted us to stay in Scotland but soon got back in the party mood after a couple of weeks and started his drinking again.

It was around this time that I met Debbie, my life partner, I know John was happy for me and as often happens in these situations, John and I kind of drifted apart, although he would appear now and again with pearls of wisdom that always seemed to get me in some sort of trouble.

About 4 or 5 months ago I was having issues at work, getting bullied and generally have a tough time of it and who should give me a call? John of course. Always one for assertiveness, he was there at hand to guide me through and help me get back on my feet.

I like John, we have shared some extremely tough times but i find him comforting, he is wise beyond his years and although his methods are often risky I know he will be there for me when I need him. I know from previous experience that it’s going to be a bumpy ride but welcome home John, fancy a drink?