Strange fruit

Strange fruit reminds me of Billie Holidays song about the lynching of African Americans in the early 1900's, thinking about the slaughter of so many innocent people makes me feel sick.

Today i have been making smoothies with my youngest daughter, mango and strawberry, which i though was a strange combination, hence the strange fruit thoughts. It often suprises me how I let such negative thoughts finding their way into my mind.

I don't always recognise the patterns but some days its easy, i may be cycling to work and a driver passes a little close, my thoughts turn to the sort of things that i would like to do to them as punishment. Obviously the punishment out weighs the crime significantly as my mind exaggerates the supposed "crime" this person has committed. I'm pretty sure 50 lashes is quite severe for being in a rush and causing me to flinch.

As my mood gets driven down by each negative though i usually start to cotton on to what's happening and try to change the thought patterns to a more positive direction, often having sympathy for the poor souls stuck in their tin boxes in queues of traffic, going no where fast and having to stop at all the red lights, although many seem to ignore red light and road signs alike.

I get great pleasure from cycling to work each day and much prefer this to driving, it can be difficult when the weather is poor but using the correct clothing is a cure for all bad weather. I was once told that there is no such thing as the wrong weather, it has more to do with the wrong clothes.

I recently got caught in a sudden down pour whilst cycling to work, while getting changed into my work clothes I realised that I had forgotten to pack any spare underwear, which left me with a dilemma! Do I keep the wet boxers on and sit at my desk with steam rising from my groin in the vain hope that no one notices or should I “go commando” and suffer chaffing all day?

Its Monday already (1am Sunday night / Monday morning) where did the weekend go? The start of a new week and I am allowing myself to be optimistic about the week ahead, i plan to remain positive throughout and make it to the weekend without any further “situations”. Fingers crossed :)

I shall be kind to myself, doing all I can to avoid situations which are likely to cause me stress, instead I will get my head down and take one day at a time. We often forget to be kind to our selves, why do we put our selves in situations which could have a significant negative effect on our well being? Its not smart.

Over the years I have learned many ways to be kind to myself and often neglect to use them. This is not smart.

This week I also hope to be smarter.